Why aren't these kids listening? Here is figure out why and strategies you can implement to help!

Finding Kids Aren’t Listening? Here’s Why—and What You Can Do!

As parents, health professionals and educators, we've all had those moments where it feels like kids just aren't listening. But before we jump to conclusions, it's worth considering why this might be happening. The reasons can range from language skills to core strength, sensory regulation, or even cognitive abilities. Let’s break down a few simple strategies to help you uncover what's going on—and how to help kids stay engaged.

Is It Language? Are You Asking Too Much of Their Receptive Skills?

Sometimes, children may struggle to listen because the instructions are too complex for their receptive language abilities. Receptive language is the ability to understand and process what’s being asked. If you’re giving multiple-step instructions, it may be overwhelming. For example:

Instead of saying, “Kids, get your hats, put your shoes on, and put sunscreen on—we're going outside,” try breaking it down:

1. “Let’s get our hats from our bags.”

2. Then, “Would you like to put your shoes on or put sunscreen on first?”

By simplifying instructions and allowing them time to hear, process, and act, you’re aligning with their receptive language skills. Start small and build up, observing how many steps they can follow. If a 5-year-old can’t follow 4-5 step instructions, it might be worth consulting a speech therapist for further support.

Is It a Weak Core? Are They Uncomfortable and Can’t Sit Still to Focus?

Believe it or not, weak core muscles could be the culprit behind fidgeting, clumsiness, or trouble focusing. If a child has difficulty maintaining posture, sitting still, or balancing, it can make them uncomfortable and unable to concentrate.

Look for signs like:

1. Constant fidgeting or W-sitting

2. Slouching or trouble holding themselves upright

3. Appearing "lazy" or avoiding physical tasks

If their posture is weak, they might not have the endurance to sit comfortably, leading to distraction. Imagine trying to focus when you have a sore back and can’t get comfortable—it’s the same for them! Strengthening their core can improve focus and attention during tasks.

Are They Over or Under-Stimulated?

Regulation of stimulation is essential for kids to be receptive. Sensory input can either help them focus or cause them to spiral into hyperactivity or distraction. Ask yourself: Are they overstimulated or under-stimulated?

1. Over-stimulated: If they’re wild, loud, and hyper, it’s time to bring down the energy. Try dimming the lights, playing calming music, and using a gentle, soothing voice to bring the energy down.

2. Under-stimulated: If they’re staring into space, sluggish, or disengaged, increase the energy! Head outside, turn up the lights, use an enthusiastic tone, and try movement-based activities like dancing to wake them up.

Adjusting their sensory environment helps them find the right state of alertness to listen and engage.

Could It Be Cognitive Skills?

If kids seem unable to follow directions or control their impulses, it could relate to cognitive or executive functioning skills. These include:

1. Working memory: Can they remember what you just asked them to do?

2. Cognitive flexibility: Can they adapt if the situation changes or requires them to think on their feet?

3. Inhibitory control: Can they stop themselves from doing something impulsive, like touching things they shouldn’t or moving when asked to freeze?

If children struggle with these executive functions, they may have difficulty listening or following instructions, even if they want to.

So, Why Aren’t They Listening?

The next time you find yourself saying, “My kids aren’t listening,” take a moment to consider the why. Is it language, core strength, overstimulation, or cognitive abilities? Or maybe they’re just tired or hungry (we’ve all been there!). At Kids Heart Pilates, we explore these underlying factors in our sessions, helping children grow and learn through movement-based strategies.

Want to dive deeper into child development and learn how movement can support these crucial skills? Sign up for my courses today to explore how we can bolster children's development holistically through fun, engaging movement activities.